Am I a bad person choosing not to be a mother?

Have you heard about those women who are traveling around the World?

About the ones that are choosing carrier over family ? About the ones that are good with other's people children but never wanted one on their own? I've heard about them. There were a lot of separated opinions. One group is certain that this women are selfish and arrogant and the other group has an opinion that every person should live by its own rules. I belong in the second group. I have never pretty much wanted a child.

In my youth, even as a teenager I knew that having children simply wasn't my thing. That especially came to surface at a certain age when all of my friends started having babies. And I can't deny, those babies were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love every single one of those kiddo's.

They were funny,they loved me back, I was there when they made their first steps,

I was there when they said their first word. I literally was their favorite aunt. We were playing at parks,

Watching movies at cinemas, Visiting the zoos. We were going to museums,

We were dancing all nights,

But I still haven't change my mind. I am a lawyer. I've dedicated my life to courts,to trials and justice. It was my first and only love. I've worked all over the World.

Do you know what it means to fight for the innocent? I'm in one city today,and tomorrow in another. I meet different people in every country.

But yet, I have never found the love of my love. I thought that he just didn't exist. That it just wasn't meant to be. I was insecure and let the "first group of opinions" to have effect on me. I felt unworthy because I wasn't a mother. I can't say that I didn't had support from my friends , from my mother and my father. They understood me. They knew that simply not every one is destined to have children. Do you know what happens when that kind of woman is forced to have one, from society or from her partner or someone else?

I don't think that women are selfish if they don't become mothers. "Jennifer Aninston once said that she feels that she mothered a lot of things." And I can't agree more. I have the same opinion about myself. I mothered my career ,

I mothered many lost or injured animals,

I helped many people who needed help. I always gave my hand to those that had the needs. I volunteered in children hospital. I am member of National Organization for Women (NOW).

I swam with dolphins, I saw many unique sunrises and

sometimes I would just lay in the bed in a hotel apartment,relaxing,reading a book and eating pizza all day, There were days when I would go shopping for hours. I was an honored guest to many manifestations, and received valuable awards.

I am grateful to all the mothers in this World who are teaching our children (future) to be kind, honest and generous persons. I respect you. I respect every single one of you. Now , I am 85 years old. When I was 60 I finally met the love of my love. He was 65 years old, never married and never had kids. We had a beautiful wedding on the California coast,

I wore a white wedding dress,he wore a blue suit with white rose in his pocket. My eyes were glowing and my heart was beating fast. I was finally a bride. And I didn't mind the ugly comments about our age,

I didn't care about the envious people. I only cared about us and about how happy I felt in that moment. I am not sorry that we haven't met before. Maybe if we had, we wouldn't be the same people that we are today.

Now we are sitting , he's right by my side as I"m writing this.

As a matter of fact,he has never left it. Always here to support me, to hand me a glass of water and to cover me with blanket. We are still happy as we were the first day when we fell in love. And I have never regretted my decision.

I don't feel alone, I never have. I'm perfectly satisfied with my life and all the experiences I had.

And I am still in touch with my friends and their children. I am still their favorite aunt, nothing will ever change that. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your live. We are all equal and we create our own future. This is the life I've chosen for myself. So now I ask you.. Do you think that I am a bad person ?

Don't judge and you will never be judged.